Monday, July 16, 2012

way back home

Lately, I have been missing home..... a lot. I left home when I was 18. Few years ago my sister moved to Toronto and we've been living together since. Gradually, my parents sold the house we grew up in and moved to a smaller apartment.

Ever since my parents sold the house, visiting home doesn't really feel like visiting "home". My old room is now someone else's room. My strange mural on my wall is probably painted over with a new coat of fresh paint. The gazebo and pool in the backyard no longer welcomes me. The new place we now call home doesn't quite feel like a home.

The way to home has changed quite a bit too. Couple of years ago, the city began building giant white windmills on the outskirts of Windsor. The first time I saw them, I thought the bus has made a detour or the driver was lost (which is highly unlikely). I have been on this road many times before and seeing the giant fans circling about made me feel like a stranger. The landscape is now stunning but unfamiliar. I am getting used to seeing them but I still feel alienated.

I feel lost. Trapped in my past. Dwelling in my memories. Where's home? Have I lost my way back home? I am planning another trip to home at the end of the month and it has gotten me thinking a lot about what is home and where I belong.

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